1) Type up your feedback in full (you do not need to write mark/grade if you do not wish to).
WWW: A balanced answer with clear focus on the question.
EBI: A more developed and detailed section on the news case study is needed - specific examples are the decline of the industry & the reasons for it. Write a paragraph on this.
2) Read through the mark scheme (go to the last two pages of the document - Section B New/digital media). Of the six different statements for each level (e.g. A sophisticated and comprehensive essay, showing very good critical autonomy.) write which level you think YOU are currently working at for each one. Explain WHY and, for any that are not Level what you are going to do to improve in that area.
Stronger statements
A clear focus on the question: I feel this is because I had planned out what I was going to write point by point on a separate piece of paper and around the question on the exam paper. Throughout the assessment, I regularly reread the question to keep it constantly fresh in my head and ensure that each point that I planned out linked to the question clearly as with this type of question I think it is quite easy to go off the point because there are so many angles to come at it from.
A good essay, showing good critical autonomy: I feel that I used examples appropriately to both illustrate my point and give my own opinion on the point which shows a good understanding of the topic and question.
Weaker statements
Good application of a range of debates, issues and theories and/or wider contexts: I think that I used a good range of examples but maybe could have used them to make my points more specific. I also should have mentioned more on the decline of the newspaper industry as a result of NDM and the reasons behind it and built on it by addressing the wider context for instance social and economic issues.
3) Look at the Examiners' Report for this particular paper. Read page 10 - Section B New/digital media. How many of the good points or higher level answer examples did you include in your essay? What were they? What could you have added to improve your mark?
Higher level points
- Debated the obstacles to equal participation and democracy, for example the digital divide in the UK and globally, the power and control of media organizations.
- Sophisticated answers debated whether this was increasing or decreasing with developments in new and digital media. Good answers had examples this from their own case study rather than just as a general point.
Good answer points:
- Good answers discussed the reasons why there was democracy or not, using media issues, debates and wider contexts.
What did I include?
- Debated whether democracy was increasing or decreasing with developments in new and digital media and had good examples from my case study but the examples could have been more detailed rather than generalized.
- Discussed the reasons why there was democracy or not: using media issues, debates and wider contexts.
What could I add to improve my mark?
- Debate the obstacles to equal participation and democracy: could have talked about the digital divide
4) Read through these exemplary A grade essays from last year. What do these essays offer that yours does not? Identify THREE things you can take from these essays to improve your own responses in future.
What does Rabia's essay offer that mine doesn't?
5) Write ONE new paragraph for your January assessment essay. Ideally, this should be a section you did not cover in your original essay. This paragraph needs to be comprehensive and meet the criteria for Level 4 of the mark scheme.
A Marxist perspective would argue against the statement in the question that "we are all free to participate equally". Marxists believe the mass media is a tool used by ruling bodies to maintain hegemonic control over the masses and a class-divided society. Information that the mass media distribute is 'specially selected, edited and manipulated' to govern the way in which we react to information published by gatekeepers who specify what information to release into the public domain. Given the role of gatekeepers, it begs the question are we really all free to participate equally as despite the developments of NDM and the greater opportunities to express our views and values there will always be some description of hierarchy in society meaning that we are not all equal as the statement in the question stipulates. No matter how much positive change NDM brings to media institutions and to us as regular citizens and amateur citizen journalists ruling bodies (media institutions) will always have a dominant stance over us.
2nd Paragraph - Using stories
The developments of new and digital media over the years have allowed us to have greater access to the internet and made the internet a place where we can all participate equally but this has had both positive and negative consequences. We can access the internet using a number of different devices from desktop computers to mobile phones to tablet computers and beyond and this has allowed the internet to be a space where we can all share our views and values about current affairs etc and interact with one another so much so that we have sometimes been able to 'hold the powerful to account' one example would be the story published by the Independant "The Sun and Daily Mail accused of 'fuelling prejudice' in report on rising racist violence and hate speech in the UK". (10) This story demonstrates how the powerful organisations who would previously have been able to sweep such topics under the rug had their actions held to account due to us being able to have greater access to their content both printed, online and beyond as a result of the developments in NDM and the internet becoming a more democratic space in which the running of it is not dictated only by the powerful anymore.
On the other hand, this greater access that we have been given through the developments of NDM has had negative consequences as well. Most notably would be the recent rise of fake news. Fake news came to prominence during the US Presidential election between President Trump and Hilary Clinton. A multitude of stories were published about the candidates and their families which later turned out to be untrue. For example, a photograph by Birmingham Mail showing ballot boxes being delivered was used in a fake news stories which suggested that Hilary Clinton was cheating in her ballot against Donald Trump. Since the spread of fake news and the rise of citizen journalism the line between what information is accurate and useful against what is purely published for that person to gain attention from the public domain has become incredibly blurred and therefore begs the question of whether this greater access to the internet that we have been presented with has allowed the creation of a democratic environment in which we can all participate equally. As Keen said "The internet is like a million monkeys typing nonsense".
What does Rabia's essay offer that mine doesn't?
- Uses theories throughout the essay which flow with her point - E.G: Global Village (McLuhan)
- Use of statistics - E.G: Livingstone and Bobers research, showed that 38% never questioned the authority of the internet
- Appears to use her weekly news stories research - ... sparked outrage on Twitter and backlashed on the paper with a world trending hashtag #1inevery5.
- Ensure that the theories I use clearly flow with my point. (E.G: in my conclusion, I wrote the sentence "after all... (INSERT THEORY)" which was quite informal and I feel it could have linked the theory used in the conclusion better to the point I was making when summing up my entire essay)
- Better use of weekly news articles
- Ensure that my essay both starts and ends strong - Rabia's essay opens clearly with what she will be talking about and ends with a well-developed conclusion which sums up all the points she has addressed throughout her essay. In comparison, to mine which has a 3 line introduction and a good but slightly rushed conclusion to sum it up with a theory thrown in to make it sound stronger.
5) Write ONE new paragraph for your January assessment essay. Ideally, this should be a section you did not cover in your original essay. This paragraph needs to be comprehensive and meet the criteria for Level 4 of the mark scheme.
A Marxist perspective would argue against the statement in the question that "we are all free to participate equally". Marxists believe the mass media is a tool used by ruling bodies to maintain hegemonic control over the masses and a class-divided society. Information that the mass media distribute is 'specially selected, edited and manipulated' to govern the way in which we react to information published by gatekeepers who specify what information to release into the public domain. Given the role of gatekeepers, it begs the question are we really all free to participate equally as despite the developments of NDM and the greater opportunities to express our views and values there will always be some description of hierarchy in society meaning that we are not all equal as the statement in the question stipulates. No matter how much positive change NDM brings to media institutions and to us as regular citizens and amateur citizen journalists ruling bodies (media institutions) will always have a dominant stance over us.
2nd Paragraph - Using stories
The developments of new and digital media over the years have allowed us to have greater access to the internet and made the internet a place where we can all participate equally but this has had both positive and negative consequences. We can access the internet using a number of different devices from desktop computers to mobile phones to tablet computers and beyond and this has allowed the internet to be a space where we can all share our views and values about current affairs etc and interact with one another so much so that we have sometimes been able to 'hold the powerful to account' one example would be the story published by the Independant "The Sun and Daily Mail accused of 'fuelling prejudice' in report on rising racist violence and hate speech in the UK". (10) This story demonstrates how the powerful organisations who would previously have been able to sweep such topics under the rug had their actions held to account due to us being able to have greater access to their content both printed, online and beyond as a result of the developments in NDM and the internet becoming a more democratic space in which the running of it is not dictated only by the powerful anymore.
On the other hand, this greater access that we have been given through the developments of NDM has had negative consequences as well. Most notably would be the recent rise of fake news. Fake news came to prominence during the US Presidential election between President Trump and Hilary Clinton. A multitude of stories were published about the candidates and their families which later turned out to be untrue. For example, a photograph by Birmingham Mail showing ballot boxes being delivered was used in a fake news stories which suggested that Hilary Clinton was cheating in her ballot against Donald Trump. Since the spread of fake news and the rise of citizen journalism the line between what information is accurate and useful against what is purely published for that person to gain attention from the public domain has become incredibly blurred and therefore begs the question of whether this greater access to the internet that we have been presented with has allowed the creation of a democratic environment in which we can all participate equally. As Keen said "The internet is like a million monkeys typing nonsense".
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